In Part II of the Perturbation of Midlife I said: "For humans however, it seems the process requires some conscious understanding, choice and skill". We were looking at the natural process of destabilization and reorganization as it applies to the developmental issues of midlife. Let's look more closely at 'conscious understanding'. What does that mean in this context? As human beings we can have a wide range of feeling, perception, motivation and conditioned behavior or habits that operate outside of our conscious awareness and control. In fact, we all do. Getting a conscious 'clue' about ourselves and what are really up to is a life long project. The midlife crisis can be a critical time that brings many things into focus of which we were previously unaware. For example, my fear of being alone came to find me at midlife. Meeting such a deep feeling that I had previously kept mostly buried was a challenge. But it was also impossible to be where I wanted to be when that fear was running so much of my 'show' in relationships. Often when working with my own clients at this juncture, they so badly want to be able get their inner life back into the box where it lived previously. But when the box cracks open, there really is no turning back.
© Copyright David Aspenson